i'm writing an article on the theme of lesbian-identified women dating/loving/shagging men, and i want to know what you think about it. the angle i'm going to take is that sexuality is fluid, labels mean different things to different people, and that they don't describe the complexity of sex and sexuality. or rather, that will be the moral of my story, the real meat will be describing the 'phenomenon'. you do not have to be a lesbian, or even identify as queer (or anything at all) to answer some of these questions. you can even be straight.
disclaimer: i promise that your identities will be kept completely secret. if i mention your opinion or story specifically, i'll give you a pseudonym.
please answer only those questions that are relevant to you, e.g. if you have never identified as lesbian or gay, but have been in a relationship with a guy, don't answer question 1. but in general, feel free to volunteer information that i've not asked for.
1) since identifying as a lesbian [or gay], have you been in love with, dated or had a sexual relationship with a man? tell me your experience in as much detail as you can.
here are some prompts: who was the guy ? when/where/how did you meet him ? when did you realise you were attracted to him ? was it easy to admit the attraction to yourself? what did your friends think about it ? did you feel like you had to come out twice ? did you encounter any ill will from other lesbians ? did you continue to identify as lesbian/gay ? if not, why not, and what did you identify as ? these are just ideas, please add any info you would like to.
2) for those who haven't been in that situation, have you ever known anyone who identified as lesbian/gay then dated, fell in love with, or had a sexual relationship with a man ? what did you think and feel about it ? what did your mutual friends think of it ? did they continue to identify as lesbian, and what were your feelings on that ?
3) is a woman who identifies as a lesbian but is in a romantic or sexual relationship with a man still a lesbian ? is it ok for them to continue identifying as a lesbian ?
4) what is your personal definition of 'lesbian' ?
send the answers to me by april 15 via comment or, if you have a long story to tell, email (gyardi at gmail dot com). thanks !